Waaaaait, doesn’t taking your stricken friend home after she’s been infected by a mysterious monster violate one of the most basic rules of how to survive a horror movie?
Quick! Someone check to make sure that Fiona isn’t an android in disguise! Well, at least Aine doesn’t have an alien attached to her face…
@Kessy: Not to worry! Later on they’ll split up to “cover more ground” and eventually go into that creepy dark room over there (which has no clear way out). Also one of them will start making out with someone….which as well all know is the safest thing to do in a horror movie….especially if you are a teen.
Oh Space balls I remember you well. I was so young when this came out I did not get most of the jokes. So it was like watching it for the first time again when I watched it a few years ago. Also we still got to deal with the Garda coming to investigate this is gonna get interesting.
@Azrael and Howard: I think the Garda and Sharon will have the same reaction: first, call an ambulance and get Aine medical attention. Which will undoubtedly lead to some interesting results when aione’s examined. After which they’ll demand an explanation from the girls, which should be even more interesting.
You know what folks….Although I have the general idea of the next few chapters worked out already…I have none of the details yet….
I had originally thought of having the girls considering getting an ambulance, but then dropping the idea for fear of losing Áine….but now, the more I think of it, and reading the comments here, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea have Áine being sent to hospital. I’d have move a couple things around, but this could have the making an interesting couple of chapters.
There is an interaction planned (and already partly drawn for this chapter) with the Gardai showing up. It was originally going to be short, with Sharon essentially being the main threat (again). I think I can pull off something where both the Gardai and Sharon are involved in a multi-thread story (which is something I used to do in Back Office more often…and kind of miss….)
This is why I love having engaged readers like you fine folk…the comic is far more alive when I can get a sense of what people are enjoying 🙂
This is fun for us to! I been reading online comics since my dorm room mate got me hocked on sluggy freelance. And in all that time I never had a chance to influence the story of any of them. So this is really cool for me to!
@Rawr: Well, it really depends on where you’re going. Although I realize this is just my assumption, I’ve always kind of gotten the impression that you have an overall story arc in mind – that there’s a reason that Ashling found the Bata Neart, and that she and the others have been drawn into some sort of conflict (in the literary sense) tied into the Bata Neart and its history, and that some sort of primary antagonist (other than Sharon!) is on the way. If that’s at all close to what you actually have in mind, then my advice is to try to make sure that each chapter, each episode does something to advance that story and brings us a little closer to what’s coming, even if it’s only a little bit.
On the other hand, if you’re thinking of the story as more episodic then of course there’s no imperative to constantly advance the story per se. However, to avoid getting repetitive I would still say that *something* should advance or change with each chapter. Back in Chapter 8 we already had Ashling and Aoife barely escape Sharon’s wrath with some good luck and not very convincing excuses. So to me just doing the same basic thing again with the Gardai and a hospital doesn’t seem like it would be that worthwhile.
Either way, it does seem to me that sending Aine to the hospital could present some interesting possibilities. Like Aoife deciding to use her nurse cosplay to try to rescue Aine from the clutches of modern medicine… Haha, that just kind of popped out there. Seriously though, prolly the biggest outstanding issue right now is the fact that Aine doesn’t have an official identity – something that would certainly come up if she went to the hospital. I get the impression that you’ve kind of been avoiding dealing with that. But I can imagine a scenario where Ashling is forced to confide in Rachael, and since Rachael is already sympathetic to Ashling and being a Garda would prolly be in a position to smooth things over, maybe she could work with Ashling’s mom to come up with a story about how Aine is Ashling’s cousin from the back country of Donegal whose recently deceased parents neglected to properly register her birth or something like that…
(Those sorts of things do actually happen, btw, even in this day and age. My grandfather had to get a delayed birth certificate issued when he was in his 40’s.)
@Kessy: Your impression is pretty much nearly exactly what I am doing (or trying to do).
In each Bata Neart chapter I have 3 goals to try and complete in those 20 pages:
1) Progress one main arc goal
2) World building (Both in my depiction of Wicklow and the magical stuff)
3) Character development
So far I think I’m pulling that off…but my current plans for Chapters 11 and 12 had massive pacing issues which I felt would just drag things on and make this whole mini-arc a bit boring at the end. Also, my current plan had barely used Garda Rachel at all…which I felt was kind of a waste.
Chapters 11 and 12 would just of had the girls in the forest and at the school, which we’ve done already a few times now. I think moving the story to the local hospital introduces a lot more more interesting directions to play with.
Áine’s “official” ID is something I have had planned a chapter for a while ago. This was actually the original plan for Chapter 8 before I took a right turn and made it into “Home Alone”. I really didn’t want to miss that chance to do some more world building, but also to set up the Fomorians, which is why Chapter 8 turned out that way. You weren’t actually too far away with the cousin idea…it’s just that I never planned for her to be *Ashling’s* cousin ;D
Part of me has been trying hard to avoid the whole “I have to keep my Magical Girl identity secret” trope. I find it is a lot more fun and realistic to have them blab about it to each other and to the internet. Thus I have Aoife just straight out telling that reporter about her friend with a “magic stick”.
So I am tempted to play this realistically again, and have the truth of magical sticks & ghost monsters being too ridiculous to believe in the first place 🙂
leave it to Kessy to thoroughly reason everything out in advance. 😛 I must admit, I have kind of lost myself in the fun antics of the girls and not really payed as much attention to the over arcing story as much as I should. In comics I have noticed its so hard to advance the plot and have fun at the same time. But the hospital idea has room for both really. We can help establish Annie’s ID and maybe even bring an adult into this group. Also your Ashling or Aoife in Nurse cosplay idea ha ha funny!
@Howard: Well thanks! ^_^ Pacing and keeping a story arc going is a lot more difficult in a webcomic because of the enforced pace of a page a week.
@Rawr: I think your concerns about pacing are well placed – two more chapters of the girls wandering around the forest sounds like it might be a bit much. I think I’d also recommend working in some explicit mention of the overall story soonish – introducing the antagonist, revealing to Ashling that there’s more to her lessons than just learning to use the Bata Neart for its own sake, something like that. It seems to me like it’s been a while since you dropped a hint that there’s something bigger going on, so it might be time for another one.
I like Rachel, and I can see a few potential ways to use her in the story. Like Howard said, she’d work well in the “responsible adult of the group” role. I also see a lot of comedic potential in playing her and Aoife off of each other. Maybe Rachel could even become the authority figure that Aoife actually respects and (sort of) listens to. And of course her connection to Ashling’s dad makes it natural to use her to drive character development for Ashling and to explore her past.
… I hope you’re not planning to make Aoife and Aine “kissing cousins.” Ah! I’m having flashbacks to that horrible dub of Sailor Moon…
And suddenly I’m imagining James Randi showing up, watching Ashling do some magic, and proclaiming that the Bata Neart is obviously just a stick and the magic slight of hand and coincidence… What exactly a “realistic” treatment of the topic would be is complicated, at best. Although realistically I can pretty much guarantee that those two girls in “Home Alone” have made sure the entire school has heard about the half naked girl who appeared out of thin air asking for Aoife by now…
@Kessy: Your mention of the pacing in a webcomic is pretty on target too. Since I’m not a professional cartoonist, I’m stuck to doing this whenever I can, thus resulting in the page-a-week format of my comics (+ breaks, + hiatus, etc…etc…). Despite that, I still want to produce a comic as if I were making a complete print book. So I’m in an interesting conundrum where I need to make pages that will tide readers over for the week, while at the same time have pages that still work as complete story when a person reads through the finished chapters. It’s a tricky balance, and pacing I think ends up suffering.
There is a particular plot point that I’ve wanted to bring in, but had been saving for later. I think I might introduce that part of the main plot soon (or at least hint at it in these coming chapters.) I would like to get the show on the road, since I feel that the world and characters are mostly well established now. Time for more of the main plot me thinks….
Thanks to these chats here, I’m getting a very good impression of a Chapter 11 & 12, which will wrap up this mini arc, but will also nicely set up the end of Book 2. (Possibly finishing with Chapters 13 & 14) Also thanks to the wonderful feedback here I think I can cook up something that you folks will enjoy. Just thinking about it now, I think it’ll be fun to draw too (which is usually a good sign, when I’m having fun the overall quality tends to go up).
As for the “kissing cousins”….I had actually planned to do that as a jab at the infamous Sailor Moon dub 😛 I’m cooking up a bit a running joke about it…
Well I’m glad we could help, and it sounds like you have some awesome stuff coming up for us. ^_^ I’m looking forward to seeing more of the main plot.
Just so you know, “kissing cousins” has unfortunate implications in the US. Part of the pejorative stereotype of rednecks (along with being stupid, uneducated, uncultured, etc) is that they’re also supposed to be inbred from constantly marrying their first cousins. It’s a slur that’s often applied to Appalachia – a very rural, mountainous, and long impoverished area largely inhabited by folks of Scots-Irish descent. So when they made Haruka and Michiru “kissing cousins” they were being doubly bigoted, both coming and going. Heh, actually, now that I think about it, it’s kind of an accomplishment to manage to be horrible to both the cultural left and right at the same time.
@Kessy: I was kind of thinking of that whole red-neck trope too when “kissing cousins” came up.
We actually have similar tropes in Ireland. I was tempted to state that these cousins must be from County Offaly….although some in Ireland might go further and say that they marry their siblings there too(!) (Probably not true…….I hope :O )
One of them got a taste, now the rest are hungrier.
Waaaaait, doesn’t taking your stricken friend home after she’s been infected by a mysterious monster violate one of the most basic rules of how to survive a horror movie?
Quick! Someone check to make sure that Fiona isn’t an android in disguise! Well, at least Aine doesn’t have an alien attached to her face…
@Azreal: They must have read the reviews already from that first one 😀
@Kessy: Not to worry! Later on they’ll split up to “cover more ground” and eventually go into that creepy dark room over there (which has no clear way out). Also one of them will start making out with someone….which as well all know is the safest thing to do in a horror movie….especially if you are a teen.
Um, you aren’t planning some kind of “Aliens” thing with monster heads and stomachs and stuff like that…
…are you? O.o
@Delta: (In my best imitation of Lone Starr) Check please!
@Delta: No. Not in this series…..(Looks ominously in Back Office’s general direction….)
@Kessy: You have just changed my mind about the whole concept. ^^
@Rawr: That raises….possibilities….
@Rawr: Hey, is it just me, or did Aoife just perk up a little at the suggestion of making out with someone?
Oh Space balls I remember you well. I was so young when this came out I did not get most of the jokes. So it was like watching it for the first time again when I watched it a few years ago. Also we still got to deal with the Garda coming to investigate this is gonna get interesting.
Howard’s comment reminds me: They are going to have to sneak an incapacitated Áine back onto campus past Capt. Sharon. Won’t that be a treat. 😈
@Azrael and Howard: I think the Garda and Sharon will have the same reaction: first, call an ambulance and get Aine medical attention. Which will undoubtedly lead to some interesting results when aione’s examined. After which they’ll demand an explanation from the girls, which should be even more interesting.
@Howard & Kessy & Azreal: Oooo….you are all good at looking forward in the plot. Some details will go a *little* differently though…. 😉
You know what folks….Although I have the general idea of the next few chapters worked out already…I have none of the details yet….
I had originally thought of having the girls considering getting an ambulance, but then dropping the idea for fear of losing Áine….but now, the more I think of it, and reading the comments here, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea have Áine being sent to hospital. I’d have move a couple things around, but this could have the making an interesting couple of chapters.
There is an interaction planned (and already partly drawn for this chapter) with the Gardai showing up. It was originally going to be short, with Sharon essentially being the main threat (again). I think I can pull off something where both the Gardai and Sharon are involved in a multi-thread story (which is something I used to do in Back Office more often…and kind of miss….)
This is why I love having engaged readers like you fine folk…the comic is far more alive when I can get a sense of what people are enjoying 🙂
This is fun for us to! I been reading online comics since my dorm room mate got me hocked on sluggy freelance. And in all that time I never had a chance to influence the story of any of them. So this is really cool for me to!
@Rawr: Well, it really depends on where you’re going. Although I realize this is just my assumption, I’ve always kind of gotten the impression that you have an overall story arc in mind – that there’s a reason that Ashling found the Bata Neart, and that she and the others have been drawn into some sort of conflict (in the literary sense) tied into the Bata Neart and its history, and that some sort of primary antagonist (other than Sharon!) is on the way. If that’s at all close to what you actually have in mind, then my advice is to try to make sure that each chapter, each episode does something to advance that story and brings us a little closer to what’s coming, even if it’s only a little bit.
On the other hand, if you’re thinking of the story as more episodic then of course there’s no imperative to constantly advance the story per se. However, to avoid getting repetitive I would still say that *something* should advance or change with each chapter. Back in Chapter 8 we already had Ashling and Aoife barely escape Sharon’s wrath with some good luck and not very convincing excuses. So to me just doing the same basic thing again with the Gardai and a hospital doesn’t seem like it would be that worthwhile.
Either way, it does seem to me that sending Aine to the hospital could present some interesting possibilities. Like Aoife deciding to use her nurse cosplay to try to rescue Aine from the clutches of modern medicine… Haha, that just kind of popped out there. Seriously though, prolly the biggest outstanding issue right now is the fact that Aine doesn’t have an official identity – something that would certainly come up if she went to the hospital. I get the impression that you’ve kind of been avoiding dealing with that. But I can imagine a scenario where Ashling is forced to confide in Rachael, and since Rachael is already sympathetic to Ashling and being a Garda would prolly be in a position to smooth things over, maybe she could work with Ashling’s mom to come up with a story about how Aine is Ashling’s cousin from the back country of Donegal whose recently deceased parents neglected to properly register her birth or something like that…
(Those sorts of things do actually happen, btw, even in this day and age. My grandfather had to get a delayed birth certificate issued when he was in his 40’s.)
@Kessy: Your impression is pretty much nearly exactly what I am doing (or trying to do).
In each Bata Neart chapter I have 3 goals to try and complete in those 20 pages:
1) Progress one main arc goal
2) World building (Both in my depiction of Wicklow and the magical stuff)
3) Character development
So far I think I’m pulling that off…but my current plans for Chapters 11 and 12 had massive pacing issues which I felt would just drag things on and make this whole mini-arc a bit boring at the end. Also, my current plan had barely used Garda Rachel at all…which I felt was kind of a waste.
Chapters 11 and 12 would just of had the girls in the forest and at the school, which we’ve done already a few times now. I think moving the story to the local hospital introduces a lot more more interesting directions to play with.
Áine’s “official” ID is something I have had planned a chapter for a while ago. This was actually the original plan for Chapter 8 before I took a right turn and made it into “Home Alone”. I really didn’t want to miss that chance to do some more world building, but also to set up the Fomorians, which is why Chapter 8 turned out that way. You weren’t actually too far away with the cousin idea…it’s just that I never planned for her to be *Ashling’s* cousin ;D
Part of me has been trying hard to avoid the whole “I have to keep my Magical Girl identity secret” trope. I find it is a lot more fun and realistic to have them blab about it to each other and to the internet. Thus I have Aoife just straight out telling that reporter about her friend with a “magic stick”.
So I am tempted to play this realistically again, and have the truth of magical sticks & ghost monsters being too ridiculous to believe in the first place 🙂
leave it to Kessy to thoroughly reason everything out in advance. 😛 I must admit, I have kind of lost myself in the fun antics of the girls and not really payed as much attention to the over arcing story as much as I should. In comics I have noticed its so hard to advance the plot and have fun at the same time. But the hospital idea has room for both really. We can help establish Annie’s ID and maybe even bring an adult into this group. Also your Ashling or Aoife in Nurse cosplay idea ha ha funny!
@Howard: Well thanks! ^_^ Pacing and keeping a story arc going is a lot more difficult in a webcomic because of the enforced pace of a page a week.
@Rawr: I think your concerns about pacing are well placed – two more chapters of the girls wandering around the forest sounds like it might be a bit much. I think I’d also recommend working in some explicit mention of the overall story soonish – introducing the antagonist, revealing to Ashling that there’s more to her lessons than just learning to use the Bata Neart for its own sake, something like that. It seems to me like it’s been a while since you dropped a hint that there’s something bigger going on, so it might be time for another one.
I like Rachel, and I can see a few potential ways to use her in the story. Like Howard said, she’d work well in the “responsible adult of the group” role. I also see a lot of comedic potential in playing her and Aoife off of each other. Maybe Rachel could even become the authority figure that Aoife actually respects and (sort of) listens to. And of course her connection to Ashling’s dad makes it natural to use her to drive character development for Ashling and to explore her past.
… I hope you’re not planning to make Aoife and Aine “kissing cousins.” Ah! I’m having flashbacks to that horrible dub of Sailor Moon…
And suddenly I’m imagining James Randi showing up, watching Ashling do some magic, and proclaiming that the Bata Neart is obviously just a stick and the magic slight of hand and coincidence… What exactly a “realistic” treatment of the topic would be is complicated, at best. Although realistically I can pretty much guarantee that those two girls in “Home Alone” have made sure the entire school has heard about the half naked girl who appeared out of thin air asking for Aoife by now…
@Kessy: Your mention of the pacing in a webcomic is pretty on target too. Since I’m not a professional cartoonist, I’m stuck to doing this whenever I can, thus resulting in the page-a-week format of my comics (+ breaks, + hiatus, etc…etc…). Despite that, I still want to produce a comic as if I were making a complete print book. So I’m in an interesting conundrum where I need to make pages that will tide readers over for the week, while at the same time have pages that still work as complete story when a person reads through the finished chapters. It’s a tricky balance, and pacing I think ends up suffering.
There is a particular plot point that I’ve wanted to bring in, but had been saving for later. I think I might introduce that part of the main plot soon (or at least hint at it in these coming chapters.) I would like to get the show on the road, since I feel that the world and characters are mostly well established now. Time for more of the main plot me thinks….
Thanks to these chats here, I’m getting a very good impression of a Chapter 11 & 12, which will wrap up this mini arc, but will also nicely set up the end of Book 2. (Possibly finishing with Chapters 13 & 14) Also thanks to the wonderful feedback here I think I can cook up something that you folks will enjoy. Just thinking about it now, I think it’ll be fun to draw too (which is usually a good sign, when I’m having fun the overall quality tends to go up).
As for the “kissing cousins”….I had actually planned to do that as a jab at the infamous Sailor Moon dub 😛 I’m cooking up a bit a running joke about it…
Well I’m glad we could help, and it sounds like you have some awesome stuff coming up for us. ^_^ I’m looking forward to seeing more of the main plot.
Just so you know, “kissing cousins” has unfortunate implications in the US. Part of the pejorative stereotype of rednecks (along with being stupid, uneducated, uncultured, etc) is that they’re also supposed to be inbred from constantly marrying their first cousins. It’s a slur that’s often applied to Appalachia – a very rural, mountainous, and long impoverished area largely inhabited by folks of Scots-Irish descent. So when they made Haruka and Michiru “kissing cousins” they were being doubly bigoted, both coming and going. Heh, actually, now that I think about it, it’s kind of an accomplishment to manage to be horrible to both the cultural left and right at the same time.
@Kessy: I was kind of thinking of that whole red-neck trope too when “kissing cousins” came up.
We actually have similar tropes in Ireland. I was tempted to state that these cousins must be from County Offaly….although some in Ireland might go further and say that they marry their siblings there too(!) (Probably not true…….I hope :O )